llbheaven
01-07-2008, 12:09 AM
Rachel's Grandma passed away today 1/6/08--here's what she wrote and asked to be posted:
I was at the hospital until 7am this morning and it seemed as if she was holding her own... my Uncle told me to head home and get some sleep, so I went and laid over @ Gram's on her couch. Joey and Kelsie (his second cousin who is 15 tomorrow) were at my mom's sleeping and had the door locked).
I got a call around 10am (I think) that she had passed. I called my dad, who thank god called my mom and broke it to her (they are not on the best terms, so it really meant a lot to me). Sadly my mom is now calling my Gram selfish (I know it is the grief talking) saying why couldn't she wait one more day? But this "one more day" has turned in to a month. Gram was hurting and it was her time to go.
Last night, they called the family up and said 24-48 hours max. I finally broke down and sobbed. Poor Joey. He doesn't like to see me cry. I am not a crier, so when I do, he knows something is really bothering me. And at the same time, he doesn't handle it well, yk because I am not a crier. I did get it under control.
Funny side note. The CNA who my Gram loved, told my Aunt Kathy aka Aunt from h-e-double hockey sticks, "I am so glad Irene's Granddaughter has been spending the night" and my aunt says "OH that is my daughter "Desi"" and the gal says nooooo, it was the one who looked like (and she described me. I am... original looking to say the least. One you meet me, you won't forget me!!!) and my Aunt kept saying "NO it MUST BE "Desi" b/c she's spent a lot of time here." (Which I believe Desi spent time, as did my Aunt but not NEAR the time they are taking credit for. I will say it is a mentally exhausting job, even just sitting there). And the gal kept saying "nooooo" and describing me. My aunt was getting agitated LOL. Finally she says "Did you see Gram's nails?? Desi did them! Arn't they beautiful???" LOL Always trying to make her kids sound better then anyone else!!
I am sorry but this whole thing cracked me the hell up. And I've told people, I was up there for Gram! I do not want a pat on the back or a attaboy. I was there for Gram. Period. And now I am so thankful I was. I will comment later about the last night I spent with her (it was good) as well as some not so nice thoughts about some of the nurses (who I am sure are over worked, but trust me, some of the stuff looking in hind site, was so not acceptable).
A SAD side note. I was THE only one who spent the nights up there until last night. (Again I am just pointing this out, nothing more, nothing less The night before last she was ASKING for her family, especially her kids and NO one fu*^^&* called us (pardon my french) Not even one of us when she was clearing asking. I was exhausted but I would have gone up and I KNOW others would have too. Gram kept looking for us :( I think this contributed to the end. I know it would have happened.
Makes me so mad. I have so much more to vent about some of the BAD care she got... she did have 3 nurses/CNA'S I adored! As did Gram. Sadly she went down hill that night and especially the next morning. I truly feel one of the nurses was out for a 'mercy killing'. She kept laying Gram flat on her back and she needed to be at least at a 45 degree angle and needed to be suctioned every hour hour so.
I did make my sister cry today. Yesterday before I left, my sister was texting me and I talked to her for a bit. Later, I told Gram "Gram, Heather just sent me a text msg (holding my phone) and she says "GOOD MORNING!!!!" (a real chipper mood) and she loves you!!!" and Gram got the biggest smile. My poor sister started sobbing. But I wanted Gram to know how much we all loved her even if some of us couldn't make it in. I did tell her my mom loved her too, but it when I said "Heather says good morning!!!" Boy she smiled!
Anyways, Joey is off playing games w/my cousin's husband, which he SO DESERVES. He has been the sole caretaker of Aiden this week. If I wasn't at the hospital, I was sleeping. Aiden is spending time with another cousin "Aunt Christy", so I am going to try and lay down. I think I got 2-3 hours at most before the phone call and I feel like I am ready to fall over :( I am sad, but I am at peace if that makes sense? I will find out what will be happening next.
Oh one more kind of funny side note. my dad, bless his heart, he asked me (after he knew about Gram) "So, when are you heading this way!?! LOL I told him I needed to see when the funeral is first and such. It was just kind of funny. :)
I was at the hospital until 7am this morning and it seemed as if she was holding her own... my Uncle told me to head home and get some sleep, so I went and laid over @ Gram's on her couch. Joey and Kelsie (his second cousin who is 15 tomorrow) were at my mom's sleeping and had the door locked).
I got a call around 10am (I think) that she had passed. I called my dad, who thank god called my mom and broke it to her (they are not on the best terms, so it really meant a lot to me). Sadly my mom is now calling my Gram selfish (I know it is the grief talking) saying why couldn't she wait one more day? But this "one more day" has turned in to a month. Gram was hurting and it was her time to go.
Last night, they called the family up and said 24-48 hours max. I finally broke down and sobbed. Poor Joey. He doesn't like to see me cry. I am not a crier, so when I do, he knows something is really bothering me. And at the same time, he doesn't handle it well, yk because I am not a crier. I did get it under control.
Funny side note. The CNA who my Gram loved, told my Aunt Kathy aka Aunt from h-e-double hockey sticks, "I am so glad Irene's Granddaughter has been spending the night" and my aunt says "OH that is my daughter "Desi"" and the gal says nooooo, it was the one who looked like (and she described me. I am... original looking to say the least. One you meet me, you won't forget me!!!) and my Aunt kept saying "NO it MUST BE "Desi" b/c she's spent a lot of time here." (Which I believe Desi spent time, as did my Aunt but not NEAR the time they are taking credit for. I will say it is a mentally exhausting job, even just sitting there). And the gal kept saying "nooooo" and describing me. My aunt was getting agitated LOL. Finally she says "Did you see Gram's nails?? Desi did them! Arn't they beautiful???" LOL Always trying to make her kids sound better then anyone else!!
I am sorry but this whole thing cracked me the hell up. And I've told people, I was up there for Gram! I do not want a pat on the back or a attaboy. I was there for Gram. Period. And now I am so thankful I was. I will comment later about the last night I spent with her (it was good) as well as some not so nice thoughts about some of the nurses (who I am sure are over worked, but trust me, some of the stuff looking in hind site, was so not acceptable).
A SAD side note. I was THE only one who spent the nights up there until last night. (Again I am just pointing this out, nothing more, nothing less The night before last she was ASKING for her family, especially her kids and NO one fu*^^&* called us (pardon my french) Not even one of us when she was clearing asking. I was exhausted but I would have gone up and I KNOW others would have too. Gram kept looking for us :( I think this contributed to the end. I know it would have happened.
Makes me so mad. I have so much more to vent about some of the BAD care she got... she did have 3 nurses/CNA'S I adored! As did Gram. Sadly she went down hill that night and especially the next morning. I truly feel one of the nurses was out for a 'mercy killing'. She kept laying Gram flat on her back and she needed to be at least at a 45 degree angle and needed to be suctioned every hour hour so.
I did make my sister cry today. Yesterday before I left, my sister was texting me and I talked to her for a bit. Later, I told Gram "Gram, Heather just sent me a text msg (holding my phone) and she says "GOOD MORNING!!!!" (a real chipper mood) and she loves you!!!" and Gram got the biggest smile. My poor sister started sobbing. But I wanted Gram to know how much we all loved her even if some of us couldn't make it in. I did tell her my mom loved her too, but it when I said "Heather says good morning!!!" Boy she smiled!
Anyways, Joey is off playing games w/my cousin's husband, which he SO DESERVES. He has been the sole caretaker of Aiden this week. If I wasn't at the hospital, I was sleeping. Aiden is spending time with another cousin "Aunt Christy", so I am going to try and lay down. I think I got 2-3 hours at most before the phone call and I feel like I am ready to fall over :( I am sad, but I am at peace if that makes sense? I will find out what will be happening next.
Oh one more kind of funny side note. my dad, bless his heart, he asked me (after he knew about Gram) "So, when are you heading this way!?! LOL I told him I needed to see when the funeral is first and such. It was just kind of funny. :)