Ready to chuckle?

[Belle]

http://pages.prodigy.net/chowchx/_uimages/CATNDOG.jpg

Sometimes you're the cat;
sometimes you're the dog.

[cre8ivepoet]

:rolleyes: How cute!

[BanderChick]

Oh my! The poor cat! Haha.

[Belle]

I had a cat who got sat on by our dog all the time. The cat in the photo looks just like him. To watch those two chase each other around the living room was hysterical, but then PLOP, the dog would sit on the cat, thus "winning" the game (I think). :p

[senoRita]

Thanks, I got a good chuckle out of that funny pic. :D :D :D

[Belle]

http://pages.prodigy.net/chowchx/_uimages/CHUBS.jpg

Not so much funny as Awwwww.


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[Belle]

HEADLINES

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
[This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!! ! They put in a correction the next day.]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for- nothing' lazy so-and-so's!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [Ya think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to temperatures [Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge [He probably IS the battery charge]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Do they taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is.... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead [Did I read that right?]




.

[cre8ivepoet]

omg...rotflmbo!! :p

[banderchick02]

Teeheehee! I got a good chuckle out of those headlines. I especially liked your commentary. ;)

[Los Lonely Girl]

poor kitteh!!

i like those headlines. i used to work in newspapers as a reporter. part of it was coming up with headlines. some of it is truly meant in humor because, heck, it's kind of a stressful job and we had to get our kicks somehow! :D

[Belle]

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got a belly-rub! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!




Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary.


Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

[cre8ivepoet]

Belle the cat diary is hilarious! Sometimes our cat vomits...now i know why. :eek:

[mamacitaRuth]

You pegged both species perfectly, Belle! LMAO....Reminded me of our former cat when she got some viral disease years ago. It affected her balance, so when she would try to jump from something, like the couch, or onto something --- she would fall over herself in a heap. She would quickly jump to her feet and look all around, as if to say, "Nobody saw that, did they? DID they?!" Entertained us humans for days...

[banderchick02]

That is too funny! I recently pet sat for some friends' cats, and my aunt's dogs, and there is such a huge difference between the two!

[cherienjim]

the cat theory is priceless...(and ohhh so true) lmao :D :D

[cre8ivepoet]

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

[cass]

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
...My favorite thing! ....

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary.
.........There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.........

hilarious.
kinda gives me chills too. One of my recurring bad dreams is being attacked by a domestic cat and being torn to shreds by it's claws....ewwwwwwwww.
**wonders what it all means man**

I wonder if copying emails with pics will work? **tries it**



Life is short!
Break the rules!
Forgive quickly!
Kiss slowly!
Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably..
And never regret anything that made you smile.


nope...doesn't work